Social Media Trolling & Bullying - How I Feel, How I React and My Advice. A Personal Account.

Hi guys, 

I am back again with another 'life' post. I chose this topic because it's about a topic that will always be current and will always be happening behind closed doors.

Lets face it we all know a 'bully' - you know the type, mouthy, they think they are superior to everyone else, they like to bring others down to their level and they totally have little man syndrome. Deep down we all know that actually they are insecure, they don't like themselves, basically bitter no hopers. 

There are plenty of those bad boys around theses days but unfortunately, instead of them being vile to your face they hide behind the safety of their phone or computer screen. Billy Big Balls indeed. Since the major rise in people using social media to 'express' themselves - outlets such as Instagram, Twitter and Facebook have become a breeding ground for 'trolling'. If you are not familiar with the term - it's basically being a big fat bully on social media. Nothing special. They don't deserve a title. 

Unfortunately social media hasn't come without its pitfalls. Bullying, trolling, harassing and stalking have become a new 'trend' for those people who are fuled by jealousy and hatred, those feelings that they project onto innocent people. 

At some point in our lives we have fallen victim to a nasty piece of work who are sat at home, festering in their own self-loafing, writing low-grade insults. If you are a strong person then it's something you can potentially handle but not everybody out there can handle this type of outlandish behaviour. For those types of people social media is a great way to be someone else, other than themselves,to stalk and harass others under fake ass accounts and hide behind aliases. I mean come on guys, do you seriously have nothing else to do with your sad little lives?!! It really is tragic. 

I do have a suggestion to those little trolls though... How about get off your fat, lazy ass and go get a job instead of scrounging off other people, people like myself PAYING for you to be sat at home whilst you are spending your days tied to your phone or computer trying to bring others down!! With as much time on your hands that you have stalking others you've got to be house bound to be attached to your phone that much. 

How I see it personally, if you have nothing nice to say about someone then say nothing at all because it really isn't welcomed. 

I am talking from personal experience about this topic because it's happened to me for what seems like forever. I am a strong person and toxic people don't get to me. My stalker is obsessed with me, all because her ex (who performed 3 accounts of rape on me) left her. It doesn't seem to sink into her deluded mind that he RAPED me. I never asked for anything that happened to me, I was sucked into his bubble, drawn in and abused. That, I will remember for the rest of my life because it happened to me. I was sucked in by him and allowed this abuse until I woke up and walked away. This has now given her, what she thinks is the right to troll me, harass me and stalk me. Nono, NO NO. 

I am a strong person (luckily) and I stand up for myself and won't take shit from anybody, especially 2 bit local bikes who hide behind fake accounts on social media. Not everybody is thick skinned though - it can really affect them to the point of suicide. Bullies and trolls can actually reduce people to self harm or even worse. It can affect people's mental state and well-being. Do they ever think about that? If you are one of Earths scum reading this, do you? Your actions always have consequences, does that even cross your mind?! 

The amount of hate I see across social media is disgusting. If you don't like what you see or what people are posting, I suggest you keep your extremely large nose out of someone else's business that doesn't concern you and mosey on by, your negativity doesn't belong in a happy place. 

Speaking of happy, do you really think bullies and trolls are happy?! Happy with themselves, their lives, who they are and what they do? Nope, me neither. They project their insecurities, deep seated self loathing, jealousy, bitterness and hate for themselves on to those who are happy, secure, content and living their lives. It all boils down to the fact that you possess something that they don't and will never have.

 If you are being stalked like I am by fake accounts, having posts put up directly or indirectly about you, getting inbox messages, nasty comments and just general bullshit, remember the above because that's all it's about. It's nothing to do with you, so NEVER think that, it's their problem not yours. You keep on being amazing. 

I cannot even count the amount of times I have had inbox messages, fake accounts watching my social media, indirect and direct posts, comments and whatever else posted. I used to retaliate because I knew that person was watching, I wanted them to know I know and then it got to the point where I stopped caring and that was a while ago now. Now I have unblocked every person I have blocked because I want them to see my things, I want them to see how genuinely happy and amazing I actually am. They want to keep on stalking, be my guest. I will make it worth their while. Doing that made me feel freakin amazing. There is nothing more beautiful when toxic people are out of your life - it's like the trash took itself out. 

If you let others get to you, they have won. My stalker doesn't know me, she doesn't want to know me, especially when I turn into The Hulk. Ha. 

It's like when she called me 'anorexic' - stick and stones, I am sorry I am naturally slim, have good genes, look after myself and have self control. If I wanted to be like her I could of easily retaliated and said " well you're constantly eating your feelings, look like what you god damn eat, you wonder why you look the way you do, you've got nothing on me, sit the f*ck down bitch. - Do you know why I don't say things like that to their face or through trolling, because they all ready know and that's why they try to make you feel bad about yourself because they don't like who they are. It's sad really because there is no reason on this planet to be nasty to others. Fix yourself before trying to break others. 

From personal experience, I've dealt with all of this first hand. The stalking, the harassment, the hate. I just laugh, I feel nothing but pity for these trolls because they don't affect my life but clearly I've affected theirs. That I find hilarious and if you are suffering, your should too find it funny. Let it go over your head. 

If you think about it guys, it's all sticks and stones - they never have the balls to say that shit to your face, why? They are cowards, you're not, you're strong, independent and a nicer person than they will ever be. They are stuck with their personalities. That right there proves that you will always be better than them. If they can take the time to set up a hella lot of fake ass accounts just to stalk someone and post on your content or indirectly post about you then that makes them sad. You are living in the real world. They obviously have a very sad, pathetic and miserable life. 

Another thing I would like to point out is name calling. It's so old school - calling someone a dog, a slut, a whore, ugly, you name it, you should brush that shit right off you because lets be honest - is that the best they've got. Meaningless words? That's all they are guys, just words, mirrored from what they think about themselves. It's all to provoke a reaction. Don't give them one. Ignore them. They WILL go away eventually. 

My little troll literally kept mimicking me, copying me and so much more - I should be flattered - they care enough to try and be me. Let them, the difference is they can't be you. You will ALWAYS be someone they can never be - a good person. 

Comments about your appearance. So what if you don't have straight, white teeth or have an over bite, bushy eyebrows or are, what they class as over/under weight. All these things, you can change if you feel strongly about it, for them, their evil and disgusting personality can't be fixed. It's in their genetics. 

If you are an honest, nice and truthful person they will never have shit on you and it will come back to you 10 fold. Trolls and bullies take stupidity to another level, their hate drives them but will never prevail. If you are suffering through the hands of bullies don't feel sad, depressed, suicidal or beaten - that's what they want. Instead, stand up to them by showing that that their words mean NOTHING to you because they don't. Speak out like I am, it's so liberating. 

They have no power or control, just words typed by a skanky little keyboard warrior. Karma will get them, it might not be straight away but it will happen and when you get everything coming to you that's good, remember that they will pay for the negativity they put into the universe. Just sit back and watch the show because it will be a good one. 

Guys, you can beat the social media trolls and the real life bullies - they live in cuckoo land, hell no, they can stay there where they belong. 

Please feel free to comment and share if you feel it can help others or you want to chat. 

If you want to read my personal story about what happened to me then you can do so by clicking here.  

Until next time... 

L 

X 

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INSTAGRAM: LELUROXXBLOGGER

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SNAPCHAT: BLACKEYEDFOX

Girl Talk // Periods, Smear Tests and Ovarian Cysts // A Personal Account.

Afternoooooon!!!

It is September... Which means we are heading into autumn and I am SO excited about it. It's my favourite time of year and this only means the countdown to Christmas can now begin!!!

I have decided to do a more of a chatty and informative post today for all the girlies out there. As you would of guessed from the title of this post I want to talk bout all things 'woman' which means, all the not-so-nice things that come along with being a lady. I want to chat about things that have happened to me personally and touch on subjects that don't always get discussed by us gals. 

Periods, smear tests and ovarian cysts are some of the things that us as women have to contend with but can freak some people out, especially the mention of the dreaded "smear test". If you are a guy reading this, I suggest you sign off now before you are grossed out! Ha. :) 

Okay, so I have never been pregnant so I cannot add this to the list of things that we have to deal with. But the things I have had to deal with I wanted to share with you to ease your minds slightly if you are worried about the above. 

" I love my period" says no one ever!!

Periods, I have THE WORST in the world I swear. I am on the pill and have been since I think I was sixteen years old. I got put on them originally because I was having really painful monthlies. Now I double up on my pill to try and settle them some more because as I have got older the pain has returned. So, I will have my period, then I will take my one pack and then once that has finished I will then move straight onto the second pack. That way I have 6 periods a year instead of 12. Don't worry the doctor told me it's fine to do that.   

That aside jeeze they are vile little things. The pain I get is horrendous and on the second day I usually feel so ill, I get a headache, cramps, almost pass out and feel very sick. I think a lot of it is to do with the pain and to make matters worse I seem to have occurred what me and my friends call "the bum pain". I won't go into it but if you know what I mean, you will know how excruciating that is. In short, I suffer big time. 

I end up looking even more like Casper than I do now with dark rings around my eyes. I look disgusting. These are the times I thank the lord that I am single. :D

I end up looking like something from the walking dead!!!

Does anyone else have this problem? Mine aren't particularly heavy, just normal but the pain is the big issue. Most of the time I cannot move out of my bed, let alone function. It's a pain in the ass when I am working too. 

I also cannot use Tampax due to the fact I had a reaction to them back in the day so now I have to use the frickin towels which, lets face it aren't the most attractive of things to use. The night ones are like a frickin nappy and they are uncomfortable and I just feel very vulnerable. 

I would like to know if anyone else has had the whole 'reaction' thing like me? 

I don't think it is 'normal' to be in this much pain when I have a period because it has progressively got worse and as most people know, doctors just seem to fob you off. The amount of times I have heard "you just have bad periods" is stupid. If that is the case, I don't know how I am meant to put up with the feeling like I am giving birth each time I have one. (I wouldn't know what it is like to give birth but surely it's about on the same wavelength?)

I NEVER take painkillers. Call me The Hulk.

Onto the those two words that will fill most women with dread and anxiety when they hear them... SMEAR TEST.

Honestly guys, it really isn't as bad as most people make out. Okay I have a pretty good pain tolerance, which is apt especially as 6 times in the year I have to be like The Hulk. So PLEASE don't listen to anyone that says any different. If any of you guys reading this haven't had a smear test yet but are maybe due one this could be of interest to you, especially if you're anxious. 

I cannot stress anymore on how important it is for you to go to your smear test appointment. It can save your life, literally. 

The first time I had mine was when I was 25 and I was really nervous as I didn't know what to expect. Literally it takes seconds and it is done. Obviously, have a lady doctor do it as you will feel more comfortable and will relax you more. She will then use this plastic like duck beak (ha ha) kind of instrument so she can access what ever she needs to access down there. That for me was a little uncomfortable but as soon as that was done she took a swab and that was that. Done. You will feel a little scratch possibly when the doctor takes the sample but that is it. No pain, no torture chamber just a normal procedure.   

For me, the results bothered me more. Unfortunately for me when they did come through they came back as abnormal with mild dyskaryosis. The first thing that ran through my mind was "oh my goodness, do I have cancer?" That is and was not the case. Even so it still put the fear of god into me. It is not something every 25 year old wants to hear *covers eyes*. What my results meant was that I have some small changes to my cells in my cervix which needed to be investigated, just to be on the safe side. 

I freaked out. Not going to lie. I was in tears a lot of the time. I had to go for an appointment at the hospital where I would need to have a colposcopy done. I had to have a sample taken away from my cervix/womb to be tested for any abnormal cells that could develop into something more serious. Again that procedure wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst either.

That wait was horrible, I just wanted it to be okay. And it was!! :) 

My test came back with the results lower than CIN 1 and the abnormal smear test came from some 'acute inflammation' which could be down to anything like irritation from soap. 

I had my other one the other week (as I went back to normal 3 year screening) and it came back normal!!! Yay! I was DREADING those results understandably. Ha. 

The importance of my personal account is ten fold, because what if I hadn't of gone for that test. That COULD OF been something sinister and this story might of  not had a happy ending. 

Ladies. YOU MUST go for you smear tests. Yes it is nerve-wracking but think about the satisfaction that you are gaining just knowing you have done something that could potentially save your life. Not everyone is as lucky as I have been but 9/10 your result will be normal. :)

My hot water bottle is my best friend." A friend in need is a friend indeed". 

Ovarian cysts. They are the devil incarnate let me tell you. I have never ever had one up until recently and by golly I wish I had never encountered one!!! This is saying something. The pain is WORSE than my period pains, I have never felt pain like it. Since having one and talking to people about it a lot of women have said having one of those rupture is worse than labour pain. Well I had one and mine ruptured. It was no fun and games, I was admitted into hospital with mine. And oh, guess what. I am experiencing another one as I type. 

Apparently, they can "just appear" It is nothing you have done and you cannot do anything to stop them occurring. :( 

The first time I had one I came home from work and felt really odd. Ill. This pain in my lower left abdomen started and it would not go. I could not sleep, I couldn't move. There was no relief. 

I almost called in sick at work the next day but I went in thinking it would pass. It didn't, the pain then became excruciating and was coming in waves of like 5 seconds. I almost had to call the ambulance out to me. I didn't know what was going on. The only way I could describe the pain was like a stitch sensation that turned into major stinging and then when it reared up, it felt like I was being stabbed. It is hard to describe pain.

I went to the doctors and he had a feel and he then kindly informed me that he thinks it is definitely an ovarian cyst. I was shocked. What the hell? 

I spent the rest of day in bed at home and I ended up ringing the doctor back saying it was getting unbearable and he ended up sending me to hospital where I was admitted overnight into the gynecology ward. It was horrible. I had to undergo various invasive tests and yes those hurt. And my cyst had ruptured hence the pain. They couldn't see my ovary fully on the scan as an organ got in the way, so they couldn't check if there were others on there. I was also nil by mouth too and I was really hungry. All I kept thinking  about was  my mums brownies!!!

The cravings. Junk. Standard. 

Well obviously there was other cysts because I now have had another rupture. In the same place as before. On top of my period too, so lets just say I have been really ill this week. 

 I am waiting for a scan date to come through as my doctor wants to know what is going on. He mentioned me going to hospital gain but I really didn't want that. All I can say is I DO NOT want another one. I would also like to add, I never take tablets (painkillers) and when I do take any that means I am in a lot of pain. How I didn't take any with the first cyst is beyond me. I did take some this time though. It was BAD.  

This has been a wordy post but I thought it would be something informative to read, you may be going through the same things or you are interested to know about the things I have mentioned? These topics have all included my person accounts and I hope it may help some of you if you are experiencing anything similar. I would love to hear your thoughts and stories. It's nice to know you're not on your own!!! 

L xx