Being Single Vs Being In A Relationship | How Do You Even Meet THE ONE?! Are Dating Apps The Way Forward?

Happy Monday beauties! 

I am totally loving the fact it's Autumn, although what I am totally not loving is that I still have hayfever. I mean c'mon you've had your fun and now it's time to say "bye bye" - I am done. 

I have decided to write more of personal post today as this issue has been bugging me for quite some time now and it's something that all us guys and gals can totally relate to and something that I need to address as I have so many unanswered questions. 

It's no secret to the people that know me that I have been single for quite some time. Admittedly, most of the duration it has been my decision but I have over time noticed a certain pattern occurring when I come into any kind of contact with men - some of which act like boys but that's another issue. 

I have been single for around 7 years which is a heck of  a long time, I mean I am no Kendall Jenner but I am not Gollum either. What's going on? 

I will tell you what's going on... I am doomed to be single for the rest of my life because I for one keep meeting all the wrong kind of guys and there are A LOT of them about. 

My life is like a 'Where's Wally' book, instead of finding Wally, it's more like lets find where the genuine, decent guy is. It's an absolute joke - he's totally got the Harry Potter invisibility cloak on! Like I've said, I have been available for a good while now and I am starting to wonder if there is something actually wrong with me?! 

I don't actually think there is, what the issue is, is that there just aren't enough good eggs about these days. I have failed to meet yet one guy that is totally worth my time and effort. 

Sure, I have been on dating sites where I get inappropriately approached by an 18th century bloke who is old enough to be my ageing Granddad or messaged on Tinder (and lets face it, that app is a breeding ground for immature, sex-crazy people who want a hook up) asking how big my boobs are. I mean really?! And you wonder why you can't get a date?! I however cannot talk because I cannot get one either and I feel I am doing everything right. What is this universe even doing to me?!

Okay, lets be honest, we are all intrigued by Tinder, fact. Whenever I download the crappy little thing I ALWAYS regret it instantly. I constantly swipe to the left as it is rare that anyone will catch my eye. I suppose I can be pretty picky on appearance because if one day I do meet someone and get down and dirty with them I need to be attracted to them at least. That's a given but jeeze man, the amount of guys on there that really appear to be something they are not and  I don't mean physically I mean as a freaking human being.

Recently, I have spoken to a few guys off Tinder and went on a 'date' with one. The date was just more jokes than Kanye West admitting he isn't a descendant of Christ and the guys I have been speaking to have had that many mood swings it has given me whiplash. 

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY? Why, is it a guy will speak to you via say Tinder, either give you their number pretty much straight away or ask for yours, engage in a major amount of conversation that I cannot even keep up with, ring you for 2 1/2 hours and then... Errr where's he gone?! Did he die? Fall off the face of the god damn planet? Just what?!

I totally have the curse of the 2 1/2 hour phone call. I swear that every time a guy calls me it always ends up with us speaking for that amount of time and the phone call goes really well and then I am ghosted forever and evs, amen! Why is this happening, it baffles my head. It has been happening such a lot I am starting to get a complex. 

Then I stop and think, well I composed myself in all correspondence (yes it really is like a freaking business meeting) answered all questions, engaged in the conversation, paid interest in their life and definitely didn't come across as an over excited child. What is their childhood trauma? 

Then it hit me. They are just playing a really stupid game. I will reply to their message on Whatsapp, keeping it all casual and cool and then I see that they will come online - ignore the message and they think I don't understand this concept? 

"DUDE I KNOW YOUR SCENE!"

I've just been ghosted... AGAIN!!! In their heads they think, 'ahhh I can find someone better' , 'I will keep her hanging for a backup plan'. Nah mate, not going to happen. 

The thing is do they not realise that when this happens to us girls we are not as blind sighted as they think? We can see they have come online, we know you are talking to other girls, we know that you don't know that we know you've been on line and blatantly ignored our reply and to top it off they give you this BS excuse about 2 days later as to why they haven't been in touch. Is anyone else sick of having pointless conversations that lead absolutely nowhere?

It really is a laughable situation, too much like hard work for me and most of all once they have ghosted you 90% of the time they ALWAYS come running back when they realise they have been a complete dick and no one wants them. Fact. 

Usually when the whole 'ghosting' game is going on what they don't realise is that I have already cut off and there's no going back. What I don't like is the feeling you're left with and that's not getting closure to a situation. In the long run it really is, "it's not me it's you" (from my POV). 

What I would like to know is, what goes through a guys mind when they feel they have to play the whole fickle ghosting scenario, especially when they were getting on with a girl. What changes? 

I have learnt now not to even give those guys the time of day, the old me would of ranted at them via text, demanding an explanation and girls if this has or is happening to you then don't even waste your beautiful breath and give it to someone who really does deserve it. 

Nobody got time for boys... We want men! Now don't get me wrong, not all men are like this and I am not tarnishing every guy with the same brush because there will be some good eggs out there but the guys I am attracting really are from the same breed of idiots. 

I am officially fly paper for freaks or have 'mug me off' written on my head. 

As a woman, I like to flirt with someone, have great conversations and if a guy cannot hold a decent convo, no matter how good looking they are they instantly become unattractive to me and I get bored and move on. Now for a lot of the guys I talk to, I think the same applies but more in the physical sense. If you're not Skyping naked they don't want to know. Is this really what dating has come to? I am no stranger to sending cheeky underwear shots to guys I have known for a while and have a coherent relationship with but I know where I am with them. 

Now, I won't go anywhere down that road with someone I am genuinely wanting to date because I have done that in the past and it's attracted the wrong kind of attention. Sadly though, when I do get talking to a guy that states that they are 'different' and I am the "exception" it turns out that they are lying out of their asses, after about the second conversation in all the sexual innuendos come to play. BORING GUYS!!! Let me tell you, if the girl has something about her that stuff comes later, what she wants to know is YOU not necessarily what you like in bed. We aren't functioned the same way as you. 

Guaranteed, the guys that overly compliment you, cannot hold a decent conversation and embark on the whole 'you're the exception' are 100% texting 20 other girls, playing hide the purple parsnip with anything that breathes and will most definitely ghost you when they don't get what they want. Simple. See ya!!  

This is just a fraction of my issues with being single but what about being in a relationship? I find both statuses come with their own equal amounts of problems. Being single is very hard work; there's too much game playing, brain space, emotional battery and most of all - time wasting. Relationships can be just the same, wondering if your partner is being faithful, truthful, wanting the same things as you, on par with you career wise, not going out with the boys drinking all the time, wondering why that girl/guy keeps eyeing your other half up. Either or, being single or in a relationship just fills you with anxiety and I for one have had enough of that feeling. 

AND that is why my friends I have been single for so long, it's too much drama. Is it even still a thing that you can even meet 'the one' anymore? Trying to find your soulmate these days is about as easy as trying to get Phoebe's song famous Smelly Cat a new home. Lets face it, you 100% will not find 'the one' on a dating app that's fo'sure and if you do, please teach me this witchcraft. Night's out won't do it either, so all in all I am doomed.

Let's just break it down into points...

Being single

Pros: 

. Own space, can eat what you want, dress how you want, wear as much makeup as you want, go out with the girls, eye up men and not get in trouble for it.

. Wear no makeup and look like death but it's okay you have no one to look nice for. Ha.

. Go on dates 

.Don't have to shave as often - it's okay it's almost winter we need the extra warmth. 

. Binge watch Netflix with a crap tonne of junk food and not feel even a little bit ashamed. 

. No guilt on what you post on social media. You want to show those abs girls, you freaking do it!

. No anxiety of whether you're being cheated on.

.More money in your pocket guys/girls! 

. You get ALL of the bed and covers! 

. That last slice of pizza is yours. 

. Flirting is permitted. 

. Your Halloween costume isn't a collaboration. No more 'you're his bread to his sausage'. 

. Regain your independence.   

Cons: 

. No one to cuddle up to.

.No regular sexy times. 

.Christmas/Halloween/Bonfire night loneliness. 

. No romantic gestures. 

. No one to play with your hair and bring you sympathy food when you're hungover. 

Being in a relationship

Pros: 

. Always having someone there cuddle up to - man hugs are the best.

. Sex on tap

. Having someone to go with you to events or being around to enjoy the festivities. 

.  A vital part to the picture if you want to start a family.

. Someone to have a future with.

. Someone to cook you food and make you feel better when you're poorly.

. Have THAT connection with someone

.Finding 'the one'. 

Cons: 

. Sex with the same person, potentially, forever! 

. Not as independent. 

. Being questioned on your choices. 

. Having to explain yourself to someone. 

. Lack of space.

. Anxiety on whether they are staying faithful. 

.Who are they with if they aren't with you?

.They take the last slice of pizza.

.Having to always be 'on point'.

. Having to always be doing something.

.Have no money.

.Spending money on presents.

. Working hard on keeping the relationship 'alive'. 

. Having to act like your partners mother - that's a deal breaker.

After looking through that list of some of the things I could think of, I actually think it's a lot easier being single in this day and age than being in a relationship. Society puts too much pressure on us singletons to have children and get married. I want both of those things but only when the right person comes along. I am certainty not going to be settling down with someone who is a bad egg just because I am on a time scale. I deserve a lot better than what I am being presented with. 

And hey, if that person doesn't come along, I am fine with that, I will just have a test tube baby and do it my own way. Ha. 

I chose to speak about this topic as I think a lot of people can relate to the subject as I cannot be the only person having to deal with this nonsense?! Let me know in the comments!

If you want to keep up with me, then you can do so by following my blog on Bloglovin' here.  

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Until next time...

L 

X 

    

Rant // My Current Pet Peeves.

Evening. :) 

Do you ever have those days where you literally just want to scream into open space to the point your lungs almost pop out of your throat?!! 

Well I am getting this at the moment. I am generally a happy, lively person, who loves to laugh and have fun, until life rears its damn right ugly head and you wish you could face plant it off the floor. 

Come on, face it, we British people love to have a moan about anything and everything. Myself, well if I am ever in a mood I am easily snapped out of it within, lets say five minutes. 

Right now however, I have written a list of my current pet peeves that at this minute are grinding my gears, so much so that I have to share it with you. Ha. 

Pssst... If you didn't know, when I am mad I turn into The Hulk... And that my friends is deadly. ;) 

Recruitment Agencies - Are You Serious?!

As most of my readers know (and if you're new you will find out now) that I am currently job searching. At the best of times it is not in any way fun. In fact, it's one of THE worst things ever. It's that boring I end up falling asleep because it's always the same old drivel on every page. Now, I apply for hundreds of jobs and have been since waaaaayyyy before Christmas. We are now in March and I have hardly heard anything. Are you kidding me?!

I have figured out why... It's those sly bloody recruitment agencies thinking that they are God and have the power over whether someone gets a job or not. The amount of freaking times I have had emails off recruitment agencies saying the following...

Errrrrrr, no I will not be coming in to see you guys because I have had another million other agencies doing the same god damn thing. I have had more emails/phone calls like this than I have had replies off the employers!!!! It defeats the object of me keep travelling to see you when I need a job. Duh! JUST FORWARD MY FREAKING CV ACROSS!!! You can see my qualifications and experience, I obviously fit the criteria otherwise I wouldn't be applying for the job. Why is the government making it so hard for people like me to get work? I want to work so what's the problem. I know what the problem is, the recruitment agencies obviously work off commission and I for one don't give two craps. I am applying because I need money and you are refusing me that until I come into your office where I am tested on my literacy and typing skills. Some how if I didn't have those skills you wouldn't be calling me because YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO READ MY CV!!! They are having a bubble bath. Today. That has tipped me right over the edge. 

Job Searching - Snore. 

Whilst we are on the subject, you apply for millions of jobs. Hear nothing back. You apply for the jobs that you have loads of experience in and can do with your eyes closed. Hear nothing back. Apply for a real awful job because you're getting desperate. Hear back... And they take the p**s. " Yeah we pay like £2 an hour because you would be like an apprentice...." Yeah you can stop right there love. 

For one... Your advertisement did not state what you have quite matter-so-factly just told me and you want to pay how much for the amount of work you are expecting me to do. No thanks. 

I tell you what ladies and gents do not bother with a degree because it gets you bloody nowhere... Unless you want to count nowhere as stuck in your room writing this post because otherwise you are going to go crazy. That's me.

I just want a job with good pay for the amount of work, I want to be somewhere where I can have a career and I would like to work somewhere where people don't bitch as soon as your back is turned. Is that so much to ask for?! Obviously.

People are missing a trick with me because I am bloody good at a lot of things. 

Potential central. Ha. 

 Larry Is Real - This Again?!

The picture speaks volumes. :D 

It's no secret that I am completely attracted to little old Haribo, so it's no surprise that I follow him on Twitter and Instagram. 

I am not an avid fan of the band and have only just started to listen to their stuff, I just like to have a little stalk now and then on Harry's profile to see what cryptic Tweet he has sent out. 

When Harry or any of the 1D guys tweet or Instagram the 'Directioners' go cray cray. And when I say that, I mean beyond what is acceptable. I have never seen anything like it. It's nice that they have such attentive fans but some of the things that are posted I actually cringe at. I am sick of seeing these words.

 "Larry is real" 

They are some serious shippers, no doubt about it and they mean business. Guys, get in the real world... Harry and Co are human beings, they are people just like everyone else and they have feelings. Suggesting that Harry and Louis are gay and that Louis's baby isn't real and photoshopping some pretty grotesque photo's does not make you a fan it makes you borderline insane. And it just hurts people's feelings. Imagine hearing/seeing negative things constantly and worst of all it's all bloody sweeping statements with no anchor to them at all. I mean I am full on into conspiracy theories but these guys think up some weirdo sheeeet man. Leave the poor guy(s) alone. 

He tweets, maybe tweet something nice instead of "Larry is real" it's boring and that sure as hell won't get him to reply to you. 

Yawn. 

(I'll be waiting for the influx of hate.Ha.)

Men - Really Are From Mars.

Whoever said men were "simple" (most probs a man) was lying out of their ass. They are in fact the most complicated creatures ever to grace my presence. 

I am pretty straightforward, I say it how it is, I can take banter and I can take criticism. 

Why oh why do they just behave strangely without any warning as to what the issue is? Why do they take a million years to text you back or suddenly just ghost you? 

Kanye's English took a hit there. *Covers eyes*. 

I don't like the guy but this tweet is on point. *Ref image above*.

Either I am meeting jerks or this is becoming a running trend amongst the male species.

My scenario...

 You're friends with someone for years, you get on really well, you hook up now and then and you both have great banter. Then suddenly... That said friend comes to your home, you chill, you have a laugh, you're comfortable, everything is cool. Or so you thought and then he goes back home and you don't hear from him again. The bitch has just ghosted you and chucked a lot of years of friendship down the drain. Huh?! You're left there scratching your head on what the hell you've done wrong, try to talk to them and you get ignored and then you pass the point of being sad and cut him the hell off.

WTF? What is your childhood trauma because that was a loser move! 

I still to this minute don't know what the hell his problem was but I KNOW fo'sure it wasn't me and that gives me some satisfaction. That's just a male friend... Guys you're seeing, dating, having a relationship with do it too. 

How I see it is, grow some balls, tell me what your issue is, don't go and text me, I then reply and then you read and ignore the message for days/months/years, that will just make me go off you and make you look like a knob. You want to date me say, you don't that's cool too. Stop the mixed signals and take me as I am... Or watch me as I leave. 

Ta ra. 

Followers - Or Lack Of. 

I do not understand how so many people are getting thousands of followers on Twitter/Instagram & their blog. 

I am working my ass off trying to post creative and interesting posts and pictures and my follow base is on an all time low. Come on... Someone tell me what the secret is because I am baffled?! 

Blog wise, brands won't work with you unless you have thousands of followers... I get thousands of readers but hardly any subscribers/follows. Would someone be so kind to tell me what I am doing wrong please? I am getting sick of people following me one minute then unfollowing me... Then following me and then doing the same. You either want to follow me on social media or you don't. I interact, I post current things and I get involved yet I bet if I get my boobs out in a picture I would get a lot of followers then. Sex sells right? Well that won't be happening but you get my drift. 

Maybe some of them buy followers? Who knows. 

Kayne West.

You're not Jesus. 

That is all. 

David Cameron - Is He Still In Power? 

He is the biggest dickhead walking. Apart from Kayne. I knew he would go back on his policies and lets be honest I don't actually think he knows how to run a country let alone his own brain. He is just making life extremely difficult for everyone. I have massive views on a lot of political subjects but I won't air them on here due to the fact it will cause controversy so those things are best left unsaid. What I will say though is that Cameron needs to go jump in the massive hole he is digging and never come out. 

Ass Hole Drivers. 

How some people have passed their driving test I do not know. I am constantly in a fit of road rage when I am in the car which in turn deters me from driving because I am always behind some idiot. 

Use your god damn indicators, stop breaking round every bend or when a vehicle comes past you. Don't do freaking 30mph in a 60 and then 40mph in a 30, when I over take don't put your lights on full beam just because you're pee'd that my 1.2 overtook your slow ass Audi. And most of all open your freaking eyes, the amount of times I have almost been killed due to a driver not looking where they are going or just pulling out on me. I have no time for idiots. 

Companies - Rip Off Britain.

One major pet peeve is companies trying to rip you off with their shoddy products. The amount of times I have had to complain about things I have bought which has been off, broke, arrived not as described. You name it, I have received it.

One culprit is Asda, they constantly sell out of date products, do they ever do some sort of stock rotation? I have picked up meat and fish which are days past their use by date, mouldy items, out of date by months crisps, chocolate and cakes. It's disgusting and we as consumers are buying into this. When you are shopping in a rush you will expect what you are buying to be relatively fresh, you shouldn't have to go through layers of the same product to find something in date. I have to do this every time I shop now. AND, they never have anything in stock. I go in there, and I am fobbed off by the staff saying they haven't got something when I ask. I go and hunt for it myself and I find it. Lazy ass company. 

I have a lot of issues with Accessorize, H & M and Burgess Pet Care too, but what I will say is when I do have a problem their customer service is amazing. They bend over backwards to solve your issues and that to me is awesome and keeps my custom because of it.  

Abbie Branning - Eastenders. 

Please kill her off. 

And Whitney too. Thanks. 

There's a lot more I could list off but I would be here all day. 

It would be cool to hear what pee's you guys off, don't forget to leave your comments and subscribe. Help a brother out. :) 

Love 

L 

X 

My Top Ten Tips On How To Survive Valentine's Day // Single Girl Problems.

Hello rock stars. :) 

Valentine's Day is literally days away. I literally dread this time of year. Not that I am bitter about it at all. Ha. 

This is my seventh Valentine's Day on my own. I am such a single little prawn these days it's a joke. 

You know, it's fine the first year or so, but come on is cupid having a joke up there or something?! I mean SEVEN YEARS!!! Just, wow. 

So if you are like me this year and single (again) and all you are seeing around you is loved up couples, "look at what my boyfriend/girlfriend got me" and PDA's then you have come to the right place. 

Here, we can all wallow for a second on being a big fat joke in the world of 'love', sitting on our own with our meals for one. It's quite sickening really. 

But that second is now over and we are going to frickin embrace being single for this day if it kills us!! 

Single girl problems are a reality when it comes to the dreaded 'V' day when you won't be getting any of the 'D' and your friends are. Ha. True story though. 

So what if you don't have a secret admirer or cards and flowers sent to you (even though you really do wish that would happen).Follow my top ten tips on how to survive Valentines Day as if it were a zombie apocalypse and you will come out the other end alive to fight another day. 

1. Avoid social media like the god damn plague. There is nothing worse than scrolling through your home pages and seeing all the statuses of lovey dovey shit. No way. It makes my eyes want to bleed profusely. Turn it all off, mute your notifications and pretend Facebook, Twitter and everything media related wasn't invented. That's what I am going to do and that way I won't want to gouge my eyes out. 

2. Run a bath and pop in a Lush bubble bar/bath bomb. No showers allowed. You my girl/boy need to relax and let the stench of bitterness soak away. There isn't anything more satisfying than floating in a hot bubble bath with candles flickering away. It's one of my favourite things to do. Just don't think of which hot man could be joining you at that point in time. *Covers eyes*. 

3. Pamper night. Get those face masks, nail polishes and body creams out and enjoy you 'me' time. I do this a hell of a lot as it is because I am always on my own, "yes get the violins out". You will feel so much better for it and your body will love you. Again, just don't imagine the hot guy!! 

4. Dig out those horror and gore movies. Yes, you heard me. Nobody got time for romance films on Valentine's Day when you're a single pringle. You will want blood shed, twisted plots and messed up story lines. This is a sure way to get you out of any depressive mood. Trust me it works. 

5. Make your cheat day Valentine's Day. It falls on a Sunday this year, order that fail safe takeaway, crack open those calorific cakes and indulge in so much chocolate that you want to be sick in your mouth. Lets face it, if you're going to throw up from anything it should be that and not everyone's 'date night' pics. Fact.

6. Put on the cheesiest, old school tunes you can find and dance around like no one is watching. The fact of the matter is... No one will actually be watching. It's a gift in disguise for most non-dancers.  

7. Invite your lady friends around. If you (by some miracle) have other friends that are single. Invite them round to join in with the merriment. Single girl problems all round. YAS. 

8. Get creative. Keeping your mind busy will pass the hours quicker than you can say "bore off St. Valentines". Get painting, whip out that adult colouring book (we all jumped on that crazy bandwagon) or get busy on a scrapbook. 

9. Exercise. Exercising releases endorphins, the body happy drug. Do not however go to the gym as it will most likely be empty and you don't want to be a public loser now do you. Think wisely. YouTube have some great intense training vids. 

10. Treat yourself to something. You've been looking at that dress/bag/shoes/makeup forever. Take the plunge and get it. An appreciation gift from me to me.  There you go, you have something to get excited about. Fool proof.   

I hope these little tips help you get through hell day and it's important to know that you're not on your own. You could be be. Ha. 

Love

L

X

Girl Talk // Periods, Smear Tests and Ovarian Cysts // A Personal Account.

Afternoooooon!!!

It is September... Which means we are heading into autumn and I am SO excited about it. It's my favourite time of year and this only means the countdown to Christmas can now begin!!!

I have decided to do a more of a chatty and informative post today for all the girlies out there. As you would of guessed from the title of this post I want to talk bout all things 'woman' which means, all the not-so-nice things that come along with being a lady. I want to chat about things that have happened to me personally and touch on subjects that don't always get discussed by us gals. 

Periods, smear tests and ovarian cysts are some of the things that us as women have to contend with but can freak some people out, especially the mention of the dreaded "smear test". If you are a guy reading this, I suggest you sign off now before you are grossed out! Ha. :) 

Okay, so I have never been pregnant so I cannot add this to the list of things that we have to deal with. But the things I have had to deal with I wanted to share with you to ease your minds slightly if you are worried about the above. 

" I love my period" says no one ever!!

Periods, I have THE WORST in the world I swear. I am on the pill and have been since I think I was sixteen years old. I got put on them originally because I was having really painful monthlies. Now I double up on my pill to try and settle them some more because as I have got older the pain has returned. So, I will have my period, then I will take my one pack and then once that has finished I will then move straight onto the second pack. That way I have 6 periods a year instead of 12. Don't worry the doctor told me it's fine to do that.   

That aside jeeze they are vile little things. The pain I get is horrendous and on the second day I usually feel so ill, I get a headache, cramps, almost pass out and feel very sick. I think a lot of it is to do with the pain and to make matters worse I seem to have occurred what me and my friends call "the bum pain". I won't go into it but if you know what I mean, you will know how excruciating that is. In short, I suffer big time. 

I end up looking even more like Casper than I do now with dark rings around my eyes. I look disgusting. These are the times I thank the lord that I am single. :D

I end up looking like something from the walking dead!!!

Does anyone else have this problem? Mine aren't particularly heavy, just normal but the pain is the big issue. Most of the time I cannot move out of my bed, let alone function. It's a pain in the ass when I am working too. 

I also cannot use Tampax due to the fact I had a reaction to them back in the day so now I have to use the frickin towels which, lets face it aren't the most attractive of things to use. The night ones are like a frickin nappy and they are uncomfortable and I just feel very vulnerable. 

I would like to know if anyone else has had the whole 'reaction' thing like me? 

I don't think it is 'normal' to be in this much pain when I have a period because it has progressively got worse and as most people know, doctors just seem to fob you off. The amount of times I have heard "you just have bad periods" is stupid. If that is the case, I don't know how I am meant to put up with the feeling like I am giving birth each time I have one. (I wouldn't know what it is like to give birth but surely it's about on the same wavelength?)

I NEVER take painkillers. Call me The Hulk.

Onto the those two words that will fill most women with dread and anxiety when they hear them... SMEAR TEST.

Honestly guys, it really isn't as bad as most people make out. Okay I have a pretty good pain tolerance, which is apt especially as 6 times in the year I have to be like The Hulk. So PLEASE don't listen to anyone that says any different. If any of you guys reading this haven't had a smear test yet but are maybe due one this could be of interest to you, especially if you're anxious. 

I cannot stress anymore on how important it is for you to go to your smear test appointment. It can save your life, literally. 

The first time I had mine was when I was 25 and I was really nervous as I didn't know what to expect. Literally it takes seconds and it is done. Obviously, have a lady doctor do it as you will feel more comfortable and will relax you more. She will then use this plastic like duck beak (ha ha) kind of instrument so she can access what ever she needs to access down there. That for me was a little uncomfortable but as soon as that was done she took a swab and that was that. Done. You will feel a little scratch possibly when the doctor takes the sample but that is it. No pain, no torture chamber just a normal procedure.   

For me, the results bothered me more. Unfortunately for me when they did come through they came back as abnormal with mild dyskaryosis. The first thing that ran through my mind was "oh my goodness, do I have cancer?" That is and was not the case. Even so it still put the fear of god into me. It is not something every 25 year old wants to hear *covers eyes*. What my results meant was that I have some small changes to my cells in my cervix which needed to be investigated, just to be on the safe side. 

I freaked out. Not going to lie. I was in tears a lot of the time. I had to go for an appointment at the hospital where I would need to have a colposcopy done. I had to have a sample taken away from my cervix/womb to be tested for any abnormal cells that could develop into something more serious. Again that procedure wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst either.

That wait was horrible, I just wanted it to be okay. And it was!! :) 

My test came back with the results lower than CIN 1 and the abnormal smear test came from some 'acute inflammation' which could be down to anything like irritation from soap. 

I had my other one the other week (as I went back to normal 3 year screening) and it came back normal!!! Yay! I was DREADING those results understandably. Ha. 

The importance of my personal account is ten fold, because what if I hadn't of gone for that test. That COULD OF been something sinister and this story might of  not had a happy ending. 

Ladies. YOU MUST go for you smear tests. Yes it is nerve-wracking but think about the satisfaction that you are gaining just knowing you have done something that could potentially save your life. Not everyone is as lucky as I have been but 9/10 your result will be normal. :)

My hot water bottle is my best friend." A friend in need is a friend indeed". 

Ovarian cysts. They are the devil incarnate let me tell you. I have never ever had one up until recently and by golly I wish I had never encountered one!!! This is saying something. The pain is WORSE than my period pains, I have never felt pain like it. Since having one and talking to people about it a lot of women have said having one of those rupture is worse than labour pain. Well I had one and mine ruptured. It was no fun and games, I was admitted into hospital with mine. And oh, guess what. I am experiencing another one as I type. 

Apparently, they can "just appear" It is nothing you have done and you cannot do anything to stop them occurring. :( 

The first time I had one I came home from work and felt really odd. Ill. This pain in my lower left abdomen started and it would not go. I could not sleep, I couldn't move. There was no relief. 

I almost called in sick at work the next day but I went in thinking it would pass. It didn't, the pain then became excruciating and was coming in waves of like 5 seconds. I almost had to call the ambulance out to me. I didn't know what was going on. The only way I could describe the pain was like a stitch sensation that turned into major stinging and then when it reared up, it felt like I was being stabbed. It is hard to describe pain.

I went to the doctors and he had a feel and he then kindly informed me that he thinks it is definitely an ovarian cyst. I was shocked. What the hell? 

I spent the rest of day in bed at home and I ended up ringing the doctor back saying it was getting unbearable and he ended up sending me to hospital where I was admitted overnight into the gynecology ward. It was horrible. I had to undergo various invasive tests and yes those hurt. And my cyst had ruptured hence the pain. They couldn't see my ovary fully on the scan as an organ got in the way, so they couldn't check if there were others on there. I was also nil by mouth too and I was really hungry. All I kept thinking  about was  my mums brownies!!!

The cravings. Junk. Standard. 

Well obviously there was other cysts because I now have had another rupture. In the same place as before. On top of my period too, so lets just say I have been really ill this week. 

 I am waiting for a scan date to come through as my doctor wants to know what is going on. He mentioned me going to hospital gain but I really didn't want that. All I can say is I DO NOT want another one. I would also like to add, I never take tablets (painkillers) and when I do take any that means I am in a lot of pain. How I didn't take any with the first cyst is beyond me. I did take some this time though. It was BAD.  

This has been a wordy post but I thought it would be something informative to read, you may be going through the same things or you are interested to know about the things I have mentioned? These topics have all included my person accounts and I hope it may help some of you if you are experiencing anything similar. I would love to hear your thoughts and stories. It's nice to know you're not on your own!!! 

L xx