Damn Girl - 7 Signs That You Need To Get Out Of That Relationship

You meet a guy, you’re wary. He effortlessly tells you what you want to hear, you know, that he’s, “Never met anyone like you before”, “You’re amazing”, “You’re beautiful,”… Blah, blah, blah.

It just rolls off his tongue like it’s been rehearsed… You can bet your ass baby girl, that that shit has been replayed over and over again to each and every girl who sets her sights on him. Now you see it, just in time.

You start to let your guard down, you start to let him in and feel real emotions, emotions you haven’t felt for a long while—because you believe this man is perfect for you. You think, ‘Wow, he’s too good to be true.’ Yep, you guessed what I am going to say next—that’s because they usually are. They are all very well-behaved in the beginning, they are trying to impress you, reel you in. Then BOOM… WTAF?!

Not all relationships start off like this and end in disaster but the ones not worth staying for are the ones that start off oh so magical but then turn out like a scene from Titanic… Tragic.

Run while you still can.

need to know when you are just ‘too good’ for that good for nothing guy.

You are an energetic, full of life, bubbly girl.

You light up the room when you’re in it, people flock to you, you are positive and give off good energies. You live life to the full and have a wicked sense of humor. He is the complete opposite of you—he’s quiet, never interested in anything other than himself, and overthinks to the point of creating an uneasy atmosphere. He makes you feel like you are attention-seeking, so you pull back to become the person you are not. NEVER change yourself to be with someone else. They don’t like who you are? They can take a hike. Adios.

You are thoughtful.

You are a thoughtful person, so you are going about your normal day but you constantly spot things that he may like, so you get them him because you want to make him happy. When the tables are turned—you receive nothing but empty promises. You leave cute little notes for him to find when you’re not with him. He can barely text you back, let alone make such an effort to lift a pen. Are you mad?! Ha. It’s the little things in life that count, so if he isn’t thoughtful with doing the little things, imagine your wedding day…“Do you take…”, “Wait, where is he?!”—need I say more.

You are the only one showing emotions of any kind.

So you’re missing your guy, you freaking love the man in your life, you tell him so but wait… What is this I hear? I thought so, the sound of tumbleweed drifting past. Is it even reciprocated? How would you know, he barely tells you unless you badger the heck out of him and even then do you believe him? You end up with so many unanswered questions in your head it will drive you crazy. If your guy won’t open up to you or won’t tell you how he really feels about you, do you really want to waste your time on a guy who may or may not like you as much as you like him? There are plenty of awesome guys out there who won’t leave you guessing’ HE WILL MAKE IT KNOWN!!

You are the one pulling the relationship through.

Every day seems to be a struggle, too much like freakin hard work. You are having to repeat to him how to not treat you, how to treat you, remind him that you are his girlfriend and not one of his guy mates. There is NO EFFORTwhatsoever from the guy who’s supposed to love you. You’re tired but will keep fighting for the both of you. He thinks everything is fine, you know it’s not. You talk to him about it, he tells you he’s listening but his actions prove otherwise.

When you are the one with the 80/20 ratio in the relationship, you know his days are numbered but how much longer can you actually do this for before you finally break? Before he breaks you, he needs to either suit up or ship out. Boy bye!!

Everyone sees what he has apart from him.

He’s taking you for granted, he knows everyone thinks you’re beautiful, that you’re a catch, that you have this freakin awesome personality and you are with him. He thinks now that he has you, he doesn’t have to do anything to keep you. WRONG. That dude couldn’t be further from the truth. He barely compliments you anymore, you try to get his attention and short of flashing him your boobs, you’re fighting a losing battle. Girl, if he cannot see what he has and let’s face it, most guys are batting above their average, then his unnoticed becomes another man’s noticed and we all know who the real winner is here. YOU. Leave his ass if he doesn’t love and respect or even NOTICE what he has. Someone else will.

Communication is the key.

If he struggles to even text you once throughout the day now, when before he would hit you with those bad boys 24/7, there’s something wrong… Not with you. No, my love, there’s something wrong with him. Never let a guy make you feel like you don’t deserve his time. You do deserve it, he’s just making excuses— “I am really busy”, “I forgot to reply.” Bullcrap. He goes to take a leak right, a cigarette break maybe? He has time, he has just become lazy in the way he is treating you. If his communication starts seriously slacking, more so than his attempts to woo you, then I would drop him like a sack of shit because nobody got time for chasing. Let him do the chasing. If he doesn’t chase, you have your answer. You did the right thing.

Always trust your gut.

Your gut is a lifesaver—if something isn’t feeling right, you start to feel overly anxious about the relationship and if he’s the right guy for you. Your gut is telling you something. When something is right it should be easy, you should love freely, it should just feel right. If your gut is telling you to get out then you need to listen to that bitch because that could stop you from being in a world of pain in the future, more so than what you’re feeling now.

Some guys can and will change if they genuinely want to but if he continues to ignore it after you have told him once about how you’re feeling then he isn’t good for you. You never know, he may just pull the rabbit out of the hat and surprise you but if the above keeps happening, then you need to get out of that relationship— the one-sided relationship that’s only working for him.

You can find this piece and two of my others over on Her Way 's official website or on their Facebook page. You can read my other two articles here and here

Until next time...

L

X

You Broke Me So I Walked Away - I AM GOOD ENOUGH - AS SEEN ON 'HER WAY'

To the man who broke my heart.

I don’t think you realise what you have done. I don’t think you understand how you have broken me. I don’t think you ever understood me at all and that’s a shame because now you’re going to hear it.

How could you do that to me? How could you let me cry myself to sleep? I never did sleep did I and you knew that. You knew when you finally read the messages I sent you, days later you read them, and you left me there alone, you never once responded. I was dead to you… I am dead to you.

You knew everything I had been through before I met you, you knew I didn’t want to let anyone in. You found me, you pursued me, you hooked me in. And for what? For fucking what?! Was it all just a game to you? “Treat them mean to keep them keen” you said. Good job dude because you didn’t keep me keen, you pushed me away that much, you lost me.

I had my guard firmly up to protect myself and protect my heart. I didn’t want to feel the pain of losing someone. I didn’t want the agonising feeling of being let down time and time again, to be used, to feel unloveable, unwanted and ‘not good enough’.

The truth is I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!

You were just too selfish to see it. I told you I was scared of getting hurt again. I tried to push you away in fear that this person I am letting into my life is going to break me when I have just pieced myself back together. You told me to trust you, you told me to let you in, not to run away. You promised that you would treat me like a princess, that I deserved so much more than I had ever received. You told me that you loved me. Completely and utterly. You lied… You broke your promises.

So what if you have been hurt in the past—haven’t we fucking all?! You are not something special, we have all been through shit that almost killed us. The difference is you used your insecurities and issues against the one person who was there for you and would of been there for you through everything. The one person who loved you properly. You wouldn’t allow me in, you did what you begged me not to do. You left me outside in the cold. How could you be so heartless?!

I am never going to apologise for loving you—the love and attention I gave you was more than you deserved.

It was love which I deserved. You never loved me; you told me what you thought I wanted to hear. If you loved someone like you claimed, you would NEVER want to hurt them, make them cry or make them feel used. Did you care though? I don’t think you did and you still don’t now. If you cared, if you loved me, if you wanted me in your life you would have fought for me, for us.

I did the fighting for the both of us and now I am exhausted.

How could you change from the guy that you made me fall in love with to the man you are now? I say ‘man’ but I use that term very loosely because to be a man, you would not be a coward, a liar and so utterly cruel. You were so intense in the beginning, showering me with compliments. We would talk every day until the early hours. You were the male version of me.

We had an instant connection. YOU ARE NOTHING YOU MADE YOURSELF OUT TO BE! You have two personalities: the affectionate, warm, loving and attentive side and then the cold, emotionless, hard hearted and thoughtless side. A side I never knew about until it was too late. Until I had fallen for you. That side I didn’t like. You made me nervous to be around you. It made me so anxious that I felt sick. I couldn’t open up to you fully. I was scared you were going to run away. I was scared I was going to say the wrong thing. I was scared of the whole thing.

Why did you suddenly turn so cold and unapproachable? The only time I felt close to you was when we were intimate and even then it wasn’t like it used to be. I felt like crying afterwards. I did cry afterwards but you wouldn’t have known because I hid those tears from you whilst you fell asleep after getting what you wanted.

It became all about you, what you wanted, what you needed. Not once did you think about me and how I was feeling, if I was okay. You turned into a person I no longer knew. I lost the connection with you. To be with someone and feel so alone is crippling. Being with the person you learned to love because you thought you could and to be rejected by you time and time again killed me inside.

I noticed you changing towards me, hardly seeing me, cancelling plans, leaving me on my own at your place for hours and only wanting to know me when you wanted something. You barely spoke to me at all, the texts got fewer, and you went silent on the phone when I was trying to have a conversation with you after not speaking to you all day.

Do you know what it feels like to be treated like an option, to be treated like you are not a priority… To be treated like shit? Oh yeah, of course you do… It happened to you didn’t it. You know that pain. You know that hurt. You know it all yet you thought it would be okay to do that to an innocent person who only wanted the best for you. How could you?!

You mistook my love and affection for being needy or codependent. You were mistaken. You couldn’t look further than yourself to see that what I was giving you was something that you were needing. Something that I was needing. Something I never got in return.

I wanted to be around you. I wanted you in my life even though you were making it so hard for me. That was love babe, why did you turn it into something that felt so wrong, something unnatural? I was always fine on my own. I was fine living my life and being me. You stole that from me and I wanted you to do that in a way that would make me love you more.

Instead it’s made me hate you for what you’ve put me through.

You have taken me for granted. You think by treating me mean it would keep me interested. You thought by having control you have the power.

I took back the power that day and left your ass. I walked away… In fact you made me run.

You made me do what I kept trying to do but you sweet-talked me round with your fake promises and lies. You thought I would stay,. You thought I would keep putting up with you and your two personalities. You were not worthy of my love. You are not worthy of my tears or headspace.

You left me bleeding my heart out to you and you ignored me. You still ignore me, why?! You shut out your girlfriend in her time of need. I needed you to be there for me just like I was there for you but you never came. I messaged you when things got tough. They got tough all because of you. You never once replied. You left me with no choice but to end it. I didn’t want to as stupid as that sounds. I wanted to make it work. I knew if you opened up to me, let me in and stopped being so insecure and cold, we could have been amazing. You never gave me or us a chance. Instead you took the easy way out and avoided me at all costs.

That cuts deep, that right there is the REAL YOU.

I bent over backwards to accommodate you and your needs, I did everything you wanted. I understood you were busy, I understood you had a life that didn’t always include me. The thing is, it never really did include me. I was there for convenience, your toy, your boredom breaker. There was no effort, no romance, nothing to keep me. You didn’t make me feel special. You gave me whiplash. You gave me nothing but fear and pain.

I’d like to think you didn’t do any of this intentionally, but maybe you did—who knows because in reality, I don’t know you at all. How could you be so cold and cruel to someone when they didn’t do anything wrong? They never hurt you. I would never have hurt you. Why cut off all contact before I walked away—was that your way to ensure I would end it so you could play the victim and get what you wanted?
Did you not have the balls to tell me you didn’t want a relationship, that you’re a commitment phobe?

Why did you ask me to be your girlfriend if you didn’t want it, why tell me you love me if you never really meant it? To get into my pants?! I have so many questions that I will never get answers to because you’re an asshole. This I suppose is my closure.

I will say this though—you may not think it now or even see it like this right now. But in a week, a month or in a year’s time, you WILL regret treating me like this. You will regret letting me walk away. You will soon see what you had in me. You will realise that you didn’t lose me. Nope, you couldn’t keep me.So right now whilst you’re busy doing the things that made you have “no time for me”, busy getting into other relationships that you don’t want, you will be fine. It’s when you finally wake up alone, wishing it was me you were waking up to. It’s then when it will really hit you. It’s then when you will experience the pain I went through. It’s then you will WISH you could turn back time and treat me properly.

It is then that I will be able to look you in the eye again and say, “Now you know how it feels.” Now you can suffer like you made me suffer. Except, I never made you feel any pain, you did it yourself and you will only have yourself to blame.

From me to you, the best thing I did was walk away from you.

I will always love you, but right now I am in the healing process, I still miss you and I still feel sad. That sadness is for the life I know we could have had, for the man I fell in love with but who now can fall in love with me all over again.

I am free to find someone who really wants me around, who would do anything for me, who will make me their priority, who will give me the world. I gave you so many chances and you never took them. I am not sorry for leaving you. I am sorry I didn’t do it sooner when I saw the signs but chose to ignore. I love you but I love me more.

I am the one that got away.

You can find my other two published pieces over on Her Way's official website or on their Facebook Page.

You can find my other articles here and here.

Until next time... 

L

X

Social Media Trolling & Bullying - How I Feel, How I React and My Advice. A Personal Account.

Hi guys, 

I am back again with another 'life' post. I chose this topic because it's about a topic that will always be current and will always be happening behind closed doors.

Lets face it we all know a 'bully' - you know the type, mouthy, they think they are superior to everyone else, they like to bring others down to their level and they totally have little man syndrome. Deep down we all know that actually they are insecure, they don't like themselves, basically bitter no hopers. 

There are plenty of those bad boys around theses days but unfortunately, instead of them being vile to your face they hide behind the safety of their phone or computer screen. Billy Big Balls indeed. Since the major rise in people using social media to 'express' themselves - outlets such as Instagram, Twitter and Facebook have become a breeding ground for 'trolling'. If you are not familiar with the term - it's basically being a big fat bully on social media. Nothing special. They don't deserve a title. 

Unfortunately social media hasn't come without its pitfalls. Bullying, trolling, harassing and stalking have become a new 'trend' for those people who are fuled by jealousy and hatred, those feelings that they project onto innocent people. 

At some point in our lives we have fallen victim to a nasty piece of work who are sat at home, festering in their own self-loafing, writing low-grade insults. If you are a strong person then it's something you can potentially handle but not everybody out there can handle this type of outlandish behaviour. For those types of people social media is a great way to be someone else, other than themselves,to stalk and harass others under fake ass accounts and hide behind aliases. I mean come on guys, do you seriously have nothing else to do with your sad little lives?!! It really is tragic. 

I do have a suggestion to those little trolls though... How about get off your fat, lazy ass and go get a job instead of scrounging off other people, people like myself PAYING for you to be sat at home whilst you are spending your days tied to your phone or computer trying to bring others down!! With as much time on your hands that you have stalking others you've got to be house bound to be attached to your phone that much. 

How I see it personally, if you have nothing nice to say about someone then say nothing at all because it really isn't welcomed. 

I am talking from personal experience about this topic because it's happened to me for what seems like forever. I am a strong person and toxic people don't get to me. My stalker is obsessed with me, all because her ex (who performed 3 accounts of rape on me) left her. It doesn't seem to sink into her deluded mind that he RAPED me. I never asked for anything that happened to me, I was sucked into his bubble, drawn in and abused. That, I will remember for the rest of my life because it happened to me. I was sucked in by him and allowed this abuse until I woke up and walked away. This has now given her, what she thinks is the right to troll me, harass me and stalk me. Nono, NO NO. 

I am a strong person (luckily) and I stand up for myself and won't take shit from anybody, especially 2 bit local bikes who hide behind fake accounts on social media. Not everybody is thick skinned though - it can really affect them to the point of suicide. Bullies and trolls can actually reduce people to self harm or even worse. It can affect people's mental state and well-being. Do they ever think about that? If you are one of Earths scum reading this, do you? Your actions always have consequences, does that even cross your mind?! 

The amount of hate I see across social media is disgusting. If you don't like what you see or what people are posting, I suggest you keep your extremely large nose out of someone else's business that doesn't concern you and mosey on by, your negativity doesn't belong in a happy place. 

Speaking of happy, do you really think bullies and trolls are happy?! Happy with themselves, their lives, who they are and what they do? Nope, me neither. They project their insecurities, deep seated self loathing, jealousy, bitterness and hate for themselves on to those who are happy, secure, content and living their lives. It all boils down to the fact that you possess something that they don't and will never have.

 If you are being stalked like I am by fake accounts, having posts put up directly or indirectly about you, getting inbox messages, nasty comments and just general bullshit, remember the above because that's all it's about. It's nothing to do with you, so NEVER think that, it's their problem not yours. You keep on being amazing. 

I cannot even count the amount of times I have had inbox messages, fake accounts watching my social media, indirect and direct posts, comments and whatever else posted. I used to retaliate because I knew that person was watching, I wanted them to know I know and then it got to the point where I stopped caring and that was a while ago now. Now I have unblocked every person I have blocked because I want them to see my things, I want them to see how genuinely happy and amazing I actually am. They want to keep on stalking, be my guest. I will make it worth their while. Doing that made me feel freakin amazing. There is nothing more beautiful when toxic people are out of your life - it's like the trash took itself out. 

If you let others get to you, they have won. My stalker doesn't know me, she doesn't want to know me, especially when I turn into The Hulk. Ha. 

It's like when she called me 'anorexic' - stick and stones, I am sorry I am naturally slim, have good genes, look after myself and have self control. If I wanted to be like her I could of easily retaliated and said " well you're constantly eating your feelings, look like what you god damn eat, you wonder why you look the way you do, you've got nothing on me, sit the f*ck down bitch. - Do you know why I don't say things like that to their face or through trolling, because they all ready know and that's why they try to make you feel bad about yourself because they don't like who they are. It's sad really because there is no reason on this planet to be nasty to others. Fix yourself before trying to break others. 

From personal experience, I've dealt with all of this first hand. The stalking, the harassment, the hate. I just laugh, I feel nothing but pity for these trolls because they don't affect my life but clearly I've affected theirs. That I find hilarious and if you are suffering, your should too find it funny. Let it go over your head. 

If you think about it guys, it's all sticks and stones - they never have the balls to say that shit to your face, why? They are cowards, you're not, you're strong, independent and a nicer person than they will ever be. They are stuck with their personalities. That right there proves that you will always be better than them. If they can take the time to set up a hella lot of fake ass accounts just to stalk someone and post on your content or indirectly post about you then that makes them sad. You are living in the real world. They obviously have a very sad, pathetic and miserable life. 

Another thing I would like to point out is name calling. It's so old school - calling someone a dog, a slut, a whore, ugly, you name it, you should brush that shit right off you because lets be honest - is that the best they've got. Meaningless words? That's all they are guys, just words, mirrored from what they think about themselves. It's all to provoke a reaction. Don't give them one. Ignore them. They WILL go away eventually. 

My little troll literally kept mimicking me, copying me and so much more - I should be flattered - they care enough to try and be me. Let them, the difference is they can't be you. You will ALWAYS be someone they can never be - a good person. 

Comments about your appearance. So what if you don't have straight, white teeth or have an over bite, bushy eyebrows or are, what they class as over/under weight. All these things, you can change if you feel strongly about it, for them, their evil and disgusting personality can't be fixed. It's in their genetics. 

If you are an honest, nice and truthful person they will never have shit on you and it will come back to you 10 fold. Trolls and bullies take stupidity to another level, their hate drives them but will never prevail. If you are suffering through the hands of bullies don't feel sad, depressed, suicidal or beaten - that's what they want. Instead, stand up to them by showing that that their words mean NOTHING to you because they don't. Speak out like I am, it's so liberating. 

They have no power or control, just words typed by a skanky little keyboard warrior. Karma will get them, it might not be straight away but it will happen and when you get everything coming to you that's good, remember that they will pay for the negativity they put into the universe. Just sit back and watch the show because it will be a good one. 

Guys, you can beat the social media trolls and the real life bullies - they live in cuckoo land, hell no, they can stay there where they belong. 

Please feel free to comment and share if you feel it can help others or you want to chat. 

If you want to read my personal story about what happened to me then you can do so by clicking here.  

Until next time... 

L 

X 

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