We've All Got Issues // All The Single Ladies Put Your Hands Up.

I don't know if anyone else is the same or going through the same things but currently I feel so "blaahhhh" and there are a million reasons as to why. 

I am writing openly in this post about my current reservations.

It's not always easy to talk out loud to a real life person but it is somewhat easier to write it down to access what is really going on. 

In life there are no easy ways out nor are there magic fixes for things, especially feelings. No one can tell you how you should be feeling because deep down you want to acknowledge the fact that the 'good advice' is right but you cannot change everything that is spinning in your mind. 

I don't have a massive close knit group of friends so right now this is the next best thing, I can vent, explain and ponder on what I write on here. It gives me some comfort to know that I may not be the only one who is having a massive frickin ball of doom hanging over my head. 

I cannot say that 2015 has been the worst year ever because it's not, admittedly it's had its ups and downs but in the last few months I have had to evaluate a lot of things going on in my life. 

SINGLE WOMAN SEEKS SOMEONE... NOT JUST ANYONE... RIGHT NOW... YOU! 

To start off, I have been single for what, like... 6 years now and I thought I was okay with it. It turns out I am not, I am 28 and I am still god damn single, childless and still living with my parents. 

Hardly living the dream, right?! 

After a while it gets you down, a lot of friends have moved to the big smoke and I am left here amongst bails of hay and road kill. Not ideal. The fall out from this is that I rarely get out, a night out has become a thing of the past... A distant memory. Its tragic. How on earth am I meant to meet someone when most people don't even know I exist?! 

The guys I do meet are jerks... Actually complete asshole's and the one's I genuinely like are either taken, gay or I am firmly in their friend zone. What is actually up with that? 

I mean what is that above? Who even say's that?! THIS is why I am picky!! 

Why is it, when you find someone that you click with, feel comfortable with and can be yourself with they are untouchable? So many questions that need answering but unfortunately I don't have the resolution. 

It's rare that I can be like that with someone. The worst is when you were completely oblivious to any 'feelings' going on and then it suddenly hits you in the face like "oh hi, I thought you were doing so well but here, have a bunch of freaking emotions and thoughts. That should change things" :) 

And then, BAM.. It's hit you with full force like you have been pied in the face.

How are you meant to tell someone that you want more than what you are now without losing them forever? Catch twenty two situation, you don't tell them and you feel like you are dying a slow death. Or you tell them and risk digging your own grave. Either way you will not win the battle. 

That is happening to me and it sucks serious ass because... What, you cannot actually tell the person what you're feeling. What if what you're actually feeling isn't about the person in question but of a general situation that you are confusing into conjunction with reality? You cannot let this affect the relationship/friendship because THAT is total suicide. Plus, who am I kidding. It's never going to happen. 

 I just want the small things but that has become a game of cat and mouse. So many games. Why so many games?

Then your mind works over time just to put you on edge even more than you are already. "Do they think the same?" "No, they won't be thinking the same because er... they don't even know that you're thinking what you're thinking". Forget about the meat sweats it's the fear sweats that you need to be afraid of. 

Arrgghhhh, I really dislike being a woman sometimes because all these little hormones kick in and make you seem like a picnic short of a packet of crisps. We are NOT though, we are just trying to work out our irrational selves.   

I cry at everything at the moment (in secret as I don't like crying in front of people). I blame the music in a lot the things I watch... It can't possibly be ME!! I am a happy soul and I don't like feeling crappy. I thought it was about a main reason, I think it was about that main reason. Maybe it's not. Who knows?! 

I wish I was one of those people who could just switch off completely but I can't. I am learning and it's hard. You wouldn't be able to tell though because I hide the reality from my face. Poker face expert me. :D

Being an adult really isn't all that fun, I want to be in London... Since I was young I have always said I will move to London and then to New York (obviously I wasn't thinking straight back then as I have a fear of flying. Ha). I am just too scared to do it on my own. I really do annoy myself. 

I love how I am just venting here and most of it probably doesn't even make sense. 

2016 is now here and I don't know what the hell that's going to bring me, but it better be some good luck. 

I want to be in a job/career that I love and if that does mean moving to London then that's what I will have to do. Maybe have a panic attack in between. Ha. 

And I want all the other things that a woman wants in life. 

Right now, I am biding my time for all the right reasons, that said, doing so will bring me all the things that I want.

Hopefully.  

Christmas Is The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!! // Bedroom Festive Décor.

Ohhhhh hi!!! :) 

It has been sooooooooooooo long since I last wrote a post. Actually it's not been that long, but long enough. 

Today I am back with a post, which if you know me, you will know that this will be about one of my favourite topics. 

CHRISTMAS!!!

This year has gone so quickly, I cannot believe it's the 6th of December already. It is just flying by. In a way I am excited because it's nearing actual Christmas day, but then it kind of makes me sad because once Christmas is over it's the new year and I cannot stand the beginning of the new year. 

Look at me being a Debbie Downer. Ha. 

Over the last couple of months whilst I haven't been blogging I have in fact been re-decorating my room and buying lots of new Christmas decorations. I have completely got rid of the purple and black walls (what was I thinking when I chose those colours?! Yuk) and I now have a white and rose gold/copper themed room. 

This year for Christmas I wanted a full on Christmas coloured theme, so I have gone for white, red and gold. I have a new white wardrobe and chest of drawers, a new bed and a new dressing table & mirror. I just need white bedside tables and lamps and white storage for my DVD's & CD's as my TV is going to go on my wall. 

Cannot deal with the brown furniture.  

So, now that my room is decorated I thought I would show you all of the Christmas things I have put out to make my room all Christmassy and festive. 

On a side note, I do have to take my frickin Christmas tree back to Asda as it's faulty :( I am so sad about this as I will have to take all of the decorations off to get it exchanged and then re-decorate it. Oh the lights don't work, that's why it' faulty. 

Enjoy. 

Even Cody has been colour coordinated. 

And so is Bear <3

Halloween Makeup // A Simple And Effective D.I.Y Look If You're On A Budget!!!

It's almost frickin Halloween guys!!!! Literally, I love this season so much. And next it is CHRISTMAS!!! I know I say this in almost every post recently but I am seriously so excited. 

I believe that Halloween is what it is, if you're going on a night out and you're dressing up you should represent "HALLOWEEN" and go out looking like the living dead!!! I wanted my face to say it all. 

Tonight's post is going to show you a Halloween look that I created previously. It's a look that has maximum effect with little effort. Perfect right?! I don't know what kind of creature I was meant to look like, maybe a Zombie. Who knows. Ha. 

All that was used was some dark eyeshadow (from the Makeup Revolution pallet's) and red lipstick, that was it!!! And if I am being honest I think the final look is mega creepy and that's what I was aiming for!! 

This isn't a tutorial post, just a pictorial one that will hopefully give you some inspiration for your own Halloween look this year. 

L x